Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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