Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
