my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
