People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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