Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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