Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
