they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
