Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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