I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
