i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
