I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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