Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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