I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
