is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
