How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
