Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
