it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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