Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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