Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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