Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
