her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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