Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
