theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
