You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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