I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
