Dual....:-)
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
