maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
