p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
