Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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