I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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