I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
