Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
