Ambien. No doubt about it.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
