are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I AM VODKA MAN
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
