i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
