There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
