his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
