I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
