so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
