my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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