This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
