so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
