I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
