Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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