i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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