girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
