my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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