3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
