I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
