I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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