she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
