i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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