I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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