The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
