i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
