She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So many bounce houses so little time
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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